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I have a migraine. It must be Wednesday.

That bastard has ruined the vein in my right arm, which had previously been praised by vampire nurses city-wide as being "visible" and "excellent."
He stabbed me six times and still didn't get anything.  Afterward he told me he's only had hands-and-feet training.
I have to go back on Monday.  Bother.  I'd been looking forward to finding out if I had any new deficiencies to add to my list, which so far reads:
  • calcium deficiency
  • protein deficiency
  • social deficiency *
*Has not in actual fact been diagnosed by a proper scientific blood test.

I've sent my sumatriptan, codeine, and tramadol superheroes down my throat to do their work for the community that is me, but I don't know if they will because I failed to dress them in festive lycra capes.

...and you look like one too.

My birthday ended two hours and twenty-eight minutes ago.

Another 24 hours, another 5287.5mg.

Clever hats

Why does Mensa post things via Royal Mail Second Class?  Right now this seems like the stupidest thing in the world to me, and I'm picturing them sitting there with their clever hats on, saying things like, "Oh yes, well, intelligent people are naturally very content and won't have any problems waiting for things to arrive slowly in the post."  "Well said, Colin, well said!  And with cost-cutting measures like these, maybe next year we can afford hand-embroidered detailing on our clever hats!"  "Here, here!"

How To Be A Better Person: Part 1068B

I've just purchased a 100ml bottle of Bond no.9 Bleecker Street eau de parfum.  Clearly this is the way forward towards becoming a better and more complete person, yes?
I also bought 50mls of Chelsea Flowers in case it doesn't work.  It's best to make sure.  To cover all possible aspects.

Now all I need is a teal cardigan, a new kind of shampoo, and a sudden and total understanding (and acceptance) of basic human behaviour and I'm good to go.

And new books.  I always need more books.

Oooh, maybe some Creme de la Mer The Concentrate too.  That might make me look healthy.  That would surely fool them.

Oh, and a good nights' sleep.  And it doesn't count if it's induced by zopiclone and/or diazepam.  It has to be natural sleep; regular peoples' sleep.

Bugger.  I suppose the Bond no.9 scents will have to be good enough.